Ep18 – Stretching Out and Showing Respect
I find myself barking at and ordering Jennifer all the time. I don’t know how or why it happens, but she doesn’t seem to take what I say seriously. Sometimes I wonder if she hears me at all. Where did I go wrong? I don’t talk like that to other people. Am I a bad mother? I wish we could just get along a bit better. Key points Let them talk. This will help them figure out things themselves. Sometimes…
Ep17 – The fried egg of communication
Can you communicate effectively with your child and not let their or your emotions get in the way? It can be difficult to do this, especially when things are tense. What are you actually trying to say? What are they actually trying to say? Are you hearing each other? Key points Define the problem and the emotions around it State calmly what the problem is Teach your kids to look beyond emotions The fried egg of communication When we are…
Ep16 – Communication and Nagging
There is listening, and then there is really listening. If two people are talking to each other, or even communicating without actually talking (you know, using all that non-verbal stuff), the effectiveness of this communication depends on how much respect you give to the other person. How well do you listen to your child? How much attention and respect do you give to what they have to say? Key points Listen without a filter Mirror back with words and gestures…
Ep15 – Siblings and Gender
When we brought the new baby home, everything seemed to be going well at first. Davy seemed to be very fond of his new younger sister, even if he did try and pat her on the head a little too firmly! Over the next few months, however, things went pear-shaped. Davy’s behaviour deteriorated. The frequency of his tantrums dramatically escalated, he became so clingy, and if I dared pay attention to his younger sister, boy, he would just lose it….
Ep13 – Emotions and Identity
How do we deal with our child’s negative emotions? It can be very confronting. There can be what can seem an ‘ocean of emotion’ in front of us, that our child and perhaps ourselves have little idea about how to approach the situation. Acknowledging the emotions, understanding that they are a part of every human being’s life experience and helping them to learn how to explore and learn from these negative emotions will help your child learn more about who…
Ep11 – Nurturing and Attachment
Hey there little person, welcome to the world! Let me take your bags; oh, I see they are full of genes. I wonder how they will influence your temperament. I also wonder what type of person you will become under my nurturing. I suppose we will find out over the next few years. I hope I can give you the strength to deal with the world and the people you will meet.. Key points Nurturing is central to how we…
Ep9 – Temperament
I just assumed that my child would be like myself or my wife, or somewhere in between. It took me a long time to realise and accept that she was in fact her own little person with her own little idiosyncracies. Some of these I found, at first, a little hard to handle, but I think I am getting better at accepting her for whom she is. She also can really surprise me with some of her positive attributes. I…
Ep8 – The Primary School Years
Sending a child off to ‘big school’ is often an emotional event for parents. Seeing them on their first day in kindi, wearing an actual school uniform and heading into a playground with children up to twice their age is a big leap for children and parents alike. It is also a step down in the supervision and support they are receiving. How will they cope? How do I know they are going to be safe? What if they get…
Ep7 – The Play Age – Part 2
Playing with the kids is so much fun. Julie is getting old enough now that I can play with her and pretend to do all sorts of things, and her younger brother just sits there and watches everything we do. I try to find more time to sit down with her on the ground and play with her, but it doesn’t happen as often as I want. She seems quite happy at times to just to yack away to herself…
Ep6 – The Play Age – Part 1
The early childhood years have been described as the high season of imaginative play . This age, despite tantrums often being problematic, can be a lot of fun for both you as a parent and your child. We can keep our child in the learning zone is by participating in this imaginative play with them and handing over the lead of play to them and their peers. We can also help foster their language through encouraging storytelling, and getting them…
Ep5 – Tantrums
‘She just completely loses it. There is nothing that will stop her.’ ‘Do you think there might be something wrong with him? Surely it’s not normal to be doing this so often.’ ‘I just said her sister could get in the car first, and she just went ballistic. I mean, it was nothing!’ ‘I find that I am just giving in to her. It is just so embarrassing. Key points Tantrums are normal. Teach children other options to handle their…
Ep4 – The Second Year
Little Leo was waiting in the play area of the waiting room of the surgery with his Mum. They were both sitting on the play mat, waiting for Leo’s 18 month vaccinations and check-up. From briefly observing their interaction, I noted several aspects of Leo’s development that were reassuring. He was pointing at toys and looking back up at his mum to gauge her reaction. They were both pretending to have a tea party, using a plastic tea set. He…
