Ep21 – Why we Discipline Children
Of all the topics I discuss with parents about their children, discipline is by far the most contentious. Some parents have a lot of trouble accepting that their own opinion may be wrong. Others have a lot of trouble reconciling different attitudes of their spouse to those of their own. Yet the paediatric and psychology worlds have well developed principles in regard to discipline based on decades accumulating a vast array of research and thinking. So let’s have a think...
Ep19 – Negativity
We can often see our own communication skills through rose coloured glasses. How aware are you of how you talk and communicate with your child? What percentage of your interaction is positive or negative? How are you perceived by your child? Do you want to improve the style with which you get your messages across? Doing an audit on your own communication style can help you understand where you are now, and also help you improve how you connect with...
Ep18 – Stretching Out and Showing Respect
I find myself barking at and ordering Jennifer all the time. I don’t know how or why it happens, but she doesn’t seem to take what I say seriously. Sometimes I wonder if she hears me at all. Where did I go wrong? I don’t talk like that to other people. Am I a bad mother? I wish we could just get along a bit better. Key points Let them talk. This will help them figure out things themselves. Sometimes...
Ep16 – Communication and Nagging
There is listening, and then there is really listening. If two people are talking to each other, or even communicating without actually talking (you know, using all that non-verbal stuff), the effectiveness of this communication depends on how much respect you give to the other person. How well do you listen to your child? How much attention and respect do you give to what they have to say? Key points Listen without a filter Mirror back with words and gestures...
Ep15 – Siblings and Gender
When we brought the new baby home, everything seemed to be going well at first. Davy seemed to be very fond of his new younger sister, even if he did try and pat her on the head a little too firmly! Over the next few months, however, things went pear-shaped. Davy’s behaviour deteriorated. The frequency of his tantrums dramatically escalated, he became so clingy, and if I dared pay attention to his younger sister, boy, he would just lose it....
Ep14 – Connecting with kids
What we do together It may sound obvious, but we need to spend time with our child so we can model and connect. Over-scheduling and multitasking can be barriers to this connection. I like to call the minutes and hours we spend engaged in this mind to mind connection ‘connection time.’ How much connection time do you have with your child, and how much are you planning to have in the future? Key Points Effective parenting requires time. Spend time...
Ep13 – Emotions and Identity
How do we deal with our child’s negative emotions? It can be very confronting. There can be what can seem an ‘ocean of emotion’ in front of us, that our child and perhaps ourselves have little idea about how to approach the situation. Acknowledging the emotions, understanding that they are a part of every human being’s life experience and helping them to learn how to explore and learn from these negative emotions will help your child learn more about who...
Ep11 – Nurturing and Attachment
Hey there little person, welcome to the world! Let me take your bags; oh, I see they are full of genes. I wonder how they will influence your temperament. I also wonder what type of person you will become under my nurturing. I suppose we will find out over the next few years. I hope I can give you the strength to deal with the world and the people you will meet.. Key points Nurturing is central to how we...
Ep10 – Parental baggage and expectations
My husband and I have really clashed about how we deal with Tom when he misbehaves. I really didn’t see this coming, we hardly ever fought before we had a child. He was brought up very old school, and finds it hard when Tom doesn’t do what he is meant to. I am the opposite, but then he thinks I am being too soft and Tom will end up spoilt. Recently, we have had a few really good chats about...
Ep9 – Temperament
I just assumed that my child would be like myself or my wife, or somewhere in between. It took me a long time to realise and accept that she was in fact her own little person with her own little idiosyncracies. Some of these I found, at first, a little hard to handle, but I think I am getting better at accepting her for whom she is. She also can really surprise me with some of her positive attributes. I...
